I Cherish You
By Elin Berglund
When you’re planning your wedding, it’s easy to get caught up in dresses, bomboniere, flowers and centrepieces, but eventually you have to step back and remember why you’re getting married. And that might mean writing your own romantic wedding vows.
Wedding vows are traditionally the place where the bride and groom promise to love and support each other for the rest of their lives. While the traditional wording is still popular, especially for religious ceremonies, an increasing number of couples are choosing to write their own vows to personalise their wedding.
Whether you choose a civil or religious ceremony, there is usually room for you to inject some romance into your ceremony. Your marriage celebrant can tell you the legal requirements of the marriage ceremony and should be able to provide suggestions and examples for you to work from.
The importance of vows
Your wedding vows symbolise the start of your new life together and provide the foundation of your marriage. As well as describing your feelings towards each other, they should be promises you make on your wedding day and aim to keep for the rest of your lives together.
Your vows are the most important part of the ceremony, and although it’s easy to get distracted by the promise of the coming party, make sure you spend enough time and effort on your vows.
“It puts the day on track for success,” says civil marriage celebrant Martin Moroney. “The whole day is based on the ceremony.”
Finding inspiration
If you’re stuck for inspiration, you’re not alone. “Normally, brides and grooms have got absolutely no idea of what they want,” says Martin.
He suggests looking for inspiration in your favourite songs, and considering what you liked and didn’t like about recent weddings you’ve attended. Poetry, literature and traditional vows can also serve as great jumping off points.
Usually, your celebrant will be able to provide material for you to work from and modify to suit your tastes. “People are a lot better at editing things than they are at creating them,” says Martin.
The whole ceremony
Finally, don’t think of your vows in isolation from the rest of the ceremony, but consider how you can personalise the whole ceremony. At church weddings, you can usually help choose the readings, and civil ceremonies are entirely up to the couple.
“Every really good wedding ceremony is absolutely handcrafted for that bride and groom and their circumstances,” says Martin.
Tips for writing
- Remember that although your vows are personal, they won’t be delivered in private. Take your audience into consideration, and don’t make them too long or too intimate.
- Think about why you are getting married and what you love about your partner.
- Look at love poetry, literature, music, traditional vows and vows at weddings you have attended for inspiration.
- Start early. This is not the place to cut corners or start writing at the last minute.
- Be sincere. Make sure you are writing and speaking from the heart.
Tips for delivery
- If you’re nervous, talk to your celebrant. They can help you feel at ease, and even insert a bailout clause to cut the ceremony short if you’re not feeling up to it.
- Practice. If you can’t memorise the speech or think you’ll be nervous on the day, consider having your celebrant say the vows for you to repeat or writing notes on a card. Even if you do memorise them, keep a card on hand just in case.
- Speak slowly and clearly. Your guests need to hear what you’re saying.
Homepage image: Jonas Peterson
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