Calling all grooms

By David Heuberger

Most grooms would probably like nothing better than leaving the whole kit and caboodle to the bride. Having bought the engagement ring and popped the question, many grooms would like to opt out of the planning process and just turn up on the day.

You are probably telling yourself that you don’t want to interfere in things you know nothing about and that attempting to second-guess your bride and what she has been dreaming about all her life would be a big mistake. However, times have changed. Today’s brides want their day to be about both of them. The bottom line is, she wants you involved. At least a bit.

Never fear. It is not all flower arrangements, frilly gowns and chair covers. Organising a wedding is like organising a huge party. And parties mean food, wine and fun. So it's better to accept that you are involved.

Here are some wedding-planning tasks that you might want to volunteer for. You never know, with a few smarts and some guile, you could even enjoy yourself and make a worthy contribution.

Food glorious food

The old adage - a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach - is worth subscribing to when it comes to choosing the menu for your big night.

Offer to be chief taster. Many brides-to-be will gladly defer this task because they will hell-bent on getting into that dress. As you visit restaurants and reception houses sample the various menu options offered to your heart’s content. As chief taster, ploughing through fresh prawns, grain-fed beef and succulent chicken is a cross you might just have to bare. Some hors d’oeuvres need a thorough going over - you're the man for the task! This is your chance to sample the food that your guests will enjoy on the day because chances are, you will be too busy receiving congratulations and talking to guests to worry about filling your own stomach.

Drink it all down

Another responsibility you might wish to take over is the wine list for the evening. Don’t hurry this task - make it your business to sample the many wines out there and choose ones that complement your menu.

Start by being patriotic and indulge in the Australian grape. However in these multicultural times, you really should sample the fruits of foreign vines too. If you play your cards right, who knows you might develop a sensitive palate.
Of course which prospective groom would dare neglect the arduous duty of insisting that the beer options are fully canvassed? Your guests deserve your full work on this one.

Enjoying the ride

Weddings involve a lot of people and they all need to be moved around on the day. You will need a suitable fleet of vehicles to transport your bride and her dress. Don’t forget the bridal party, groomsmen and assorted parents will also need transport to and from the church and reception. While cost will certainly be a factor at least you have the opportunity to go for a decent ride (before being taken for one when the bill arrives).

Why not try the smoothness of a Rolls Royce or the class of a Mercedes or a BMW? Or you might want to recreate a bygone era and be ferried around in a horse and buggy. Or for something a little out of the ordinary, there is always the option of a party bus ofran F1 car! The possibilities are wide and only limited by your imagination.

Ultimately your choice of transport is to announce the arrival of your bride. While the decision you make will have to please your future wife (she could veto your Harley Davidson suggestion) nothing says you can’t indulge in a motor vehicle romp of trial and error before making a decision. You owe it to yourself to enjoy the ride.

To talk or not to talk?

Deciding who chairs your reception, who speaks and for how long are all important decisions that need to be made. Volunteer for this role. It will also give you greater control of what is said.

When choosing an MC, think wisely. Avoid bores, heavy drinkers and bad public speakers. If you can, choose someone you have seen in action at another wedding or at a 21st or 30th. A sense of humour is also a bonus.
When it comes to choosing speakers, approach people who can tell a good story but know where to draw the line. We have all been at a wedding which the best man thinks it's a buck’s night and makes Jerrry Springer look discreet.

There might be some members of the bridal party or family who you want to include but who are morbidly afraid of public speaking or are appalling orators. Save them, and yourself, by asking them to propose a toast.

If you don’t like speaking yourself, remember that short is best. The main points to cover are to thank the guests for coming and tell your bride you love her.

Getting away

We all love holidays. And many a groom would quietly nominate their honeymoon as the best bit of the whole marriage thing.

Put your hand up to organise this. This will ease the burden on your bride-to-be who will be flat out organising floral arrangements, the guest list and bridesmaid gowns.

Once you have agreed on a destination, you can busy yourself with planning tours, excursions, dinners and the like. Think of your stomach - remember how much you enjoyed tasting the wedding menu?

With the right attitude and by being a little selective in the tasks you take on, you should be able to enjoy the wedding preparations. Best of all, on the big day you can kick back - finely chosen wine in hand - and enjoy the day in the knowledge that you helped bring it to life.